Living right ain’t easy and we all get stuck in a rut. We may feel at times like we will never accomplish our dreams or goals.
If you feel a little defeated or discouraged, then take a look at my latest post for the Shrinking Jeans, “Think Small”.
I targeted the post towards weight loss and health/fitness, but it is certainly something I have felt when struggling through our infertility as well. Sometimes we need a little pick me up and extra motivation.
Happy Monday everybody!
It has been a crazy past 6 weeks. This is typically my busiest season for work and this year was even more so. It has been a lot of weekends and nights in addition to a typical work day. For the moment, things have calmed down and my brain is out of crisis mode. I can actually form sentences together for this site right now. So, I have that going for me.
A dear friend gave me a book and I finally cracked it open this afternoon. It is a memoir about the beauty of female friendships. I have found myself nodding and laughing along the way while reading, “Nobody’s Cuter than you” by Melanie Shankle. Two things have stuck out to me while reading the book: how important our friendships are and how difficult it can be to develop deep friendships in this day and age.
This paragraph really stuck out to me:
“Here’s the thing: it seems that over the last couple of decades we’ve substituted the joy of real friendship with cheap imitations. We settle for “community” on Facebook and Twitter and through a series of text messages that allow us to communicate with someone without the commitment. We have a tendency to swim in the shallow pool of relationships, because we know that getting deep can equate to being vulnerable. And more often than not, that’s a risk we’re not willing to take. It’s so much easier to just text a few happy-face emojis.”
This is so true. As we age and life becomes increasingly difficult we need these relationships. We not only need people by our side, but we need to be able to share our struggles together. Two weeks ago one of my best friend’s lost her mother very unexpectedly. As we get older, life seems to get more difficult. The struggles we endure seem to be more painful and harder to get over. We need our people by our sides to help us when we stumble and when life has us down. This doesn’t happen without time and effort. Strong relationships aren’t formed without some sacrifice and vulnerability. Real friendship means when your friend’s mother has died, you stand by their side. You go over there and help even if that is something as simple as picking up a six-pack of beer, a burger, and changing a dirty diaper. You are there when life is great and things are simple, but more importantly you are there when things are ugly and uncomfortable. That is what real friendships looks like.
On a lighter note, this quote made me laugh. I’m the girl in high school who brought report cards home with negative marks for “excessive talking”. I’m so appreciative of the friends I have who are there for me and listen to me when I babble on incessantly. Even my sweet and supportive husband let out a chuckle when I read it to him.
Have a great week and go hang out with a few awesome friends. Summer is upon us and that is the time for beach excursions, camping trips, and long talks by a campfire.
Oilman called me on Good Friday and said, “Pack your bags, we are heading to Cozumel on Easter.” I was an amazing trip for us to relax, connect, and spent time together without any distractions. Riding on a scooter along some of the less commercialized areas of Cozumel is one of my favorite things to do EVER. As the salty air was whipping through my hair I couldn’t stop smiling.
Like many women though, the thought of getting into a swimsuit after winter is a bit daunting. I had been thinking about body image and body shaming a lot. You can check out my latest post on the subject for Shrinkng Jeans, here. Why are we so hard on ourselves when it comes to our bodies?
There are so many times where I have been on vacations and I’ve spent more time worrying about my flaws than enjoying the moment. I don’t want to do that anymore.
I can still remember it vividly. A few years ago, Oilman and I went camping. We happened to be next to a couple with their adopted daughter. As the weekend progressed and we shared time over a campfire, they told us about their struggles to conceive. The next day as we packed up our camper to leave, the husband stopped by our site. He had been riding his bike on a trail and he felt the need to come see us, so he turned his bike around. He felt overcome by the holy spirit that he was supposed to share that God had heard our prayers for a family. I still think about that now and it brings me peace, because I know he has a plan.
For some who aren’t Christians, this may seem weird. I know what he was feeling because it has happened to me before. It is normally when a thought from out of nowhere pops into my head. It is normally to do something for someone else and may seem weird or random. I know it isn’t. God uses other people for his purpose.
I think of the day at our camp site when days like May 10th approach. For those of us with infertility, Mother’s Day is not a joyous one. It is a reminder of what isn’t or what has been lost. I also have peace, because good has come out of our path down infertility. It has made me trust God more, to enjoy where I am, to be more compassionate towards others, to judge less, and love more.
In the next few weeks I am doing additional testing to ensure another IUI is a good choice for us. To make sure that there wasn’t a specific reason for our miscarriage from the last IUI. I am hopeful for a positive outcome and am ready to move forward with whatever our journey becomes.
My first piece for the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans was posted yesterday. If you haven’t visited their site, it is a wealth of information on workouts, health, and wellness. Like them on Facebook for lots of great information. I will be contributing about twice a month to their site.
I wrote this after reading Andie Mitchell’s, “It was Me All Along”. I really felt she added honesty to her weight loss struggles and the reality of weight maintenance. We often read or hear about other’s weight loss successes and it appears that their life is perfect once a number was reached on the scale. The truth is, life doesn’t work that way.
Check out, “What happens after we reach goal”.
Oilman had two more coworkers get laid off yesterday. He is still thinking/guessing that he will have work until May or June, and then it is adios to a regular paycheck. The oil and gas industry is a little rough right now.
I find myself moving between being scared of the what ifs and unknowns while at the same time excited about the future.
I know that most likely this year won’t be easy. I have no idea how long it will take the oil and gas to recover. Many of his friends have been laid off for months now with no job options available. I’m blessed to be married to a man who is innovative, hardworking, and great with people. I know he will make something happen after he takes some much needed time off.
I have a sneaking suspicion that we will actually get pregnant when he is jobless. It will probably be something crazy to like twins or triplets, BECAUSE THAT IS THE WAY LIFE WORKS.
The old me would’ve been freaking out by now. I would be trying to devise a plan and hating the unknowns and change being thrown my way. I still fight this, but we have been here before and it worked out well for us. You can read more about that here.
Moving forward I’m thinking a couple of things:
- Focus on today. I have no idea what will happen tomorrow or next week or next month. I can focus on today and make it awesome instead of worrying about what may or may not happen in the next 6 months.
- I came across my notes yesterday from a convention earlier this year, “In every transition, the devil will send us a feeling of fear. Get ready.” This year will be a year of transition. I am going to feel fear and I can choose to wallow in it or walk away from it. Either way it will not change the outcome of our future.
- I’m thankful we planned for this type of event. We lived below our means and have been stashing away the majority of our income for the last 6 months. I’m not sure we could’ve prepared for this situation any better.
- I know good will come out of this situation, but every once in a while I would like to find the easy road and just hang out there for a bit. The last few years have been filled with good things and many challenges like financial struggles, financial triumphs, infertility, miscarriage, job changes, etc.
- I’m starting to get really excited about the possibility that my husband will be home more than 10 days a month, albeit without pay and possibly temporarily. We may both take a month off and take the ‘ole RV for an epic road trip adventure. I doubt we will have the opportunity to do this again any time soon.
Moving onward and trying not to freak out Jerry Maguire style.
I went to the lake on Sunday with my two dogs to enjoy the sunshine and spring weather. While I was playing fetch with Boone (our golden retriever) a couple I didn’t know started taking pictures. He asked me if I wanted any and emailed them to me this morning. When I look at these pictures I see a dog who is doing what he absolutely loves. This is a dog who is fulfilling his purpose and doing what he was bred to do. The look on his face is pure joy and yet he is incredibly focused.
I have seen this in people sometimes in the way they live their lives, focused yet filled with joy. I think this is what happens when we start living out our purpose. This is what it looks like when we know we are supposed to make a difference and start doing something about it.
If you need further clarification on your purpose, I think this book is for you. It is amazing at showing you things you may not have realized before using your experiences and your gifts. We have all been shaped differently and are here to do our own thing in our little corner of the world.
Check out Restless by Jennie Allen.