Our purpose

I went to the lake on Sunday with my two dogs to enjoy the sunshine and spring weather.  While I was playing fetch with Boone (our golden retriever) a couple I didn’t know started taking pictures.  He asked me if I wanted any and emailed them to me this morning.  When I look at these pictures I see a dog who is doing what he absolutely loves.  This is a dog who is fulfilling his purpose and doing what he was bred to do.  The look on his face is pure joy and yet he is incredibly focused.

HSL_8995 flying dog

I have seen this in people sometimes in the way they live their lives, focused yet filled with joy.  I think this is what happens when we start living out our purpose.  This is what it looks like when we know we are supposed to make a difference and start doing something about it.

If you need further clarification on your purpose, I think this book is for you.  It is amazing at showing you things you may not have realized before using your experiences and your gifts.  We have all been shaped differently and are here to do our own thing in our little corner of the world.

Check out Restless by Jennie Allen.


It matters

I had a phone conversation yesterday with a family member where she told me she didn’t think her job and non-job activities were fulfilling her purpose.  She didn’t think she was helping enough people.  I think sometimes we get caught in a trap where we don’t feel like we can or do help enough people in our day to day activities.  We may feel that we can’t be doing good unless we are working in a third world country for a non-profit.  We may belittle the many things that we do each day or week with others in mind.  I don’t think it matters.  You can help others in whatever job you have and in many of our day to day activities.

If any of this strikes a chord with you, then I encourage you to read: Little Things Matter.  It is one of my latest posts from the Real Oilfield Wives.

We cannot do great things, only small (2)

When I tell you to go, you go

“I want to learn everything I can about real estate, before I sell anything”, my friend continued, “I’m going to take every class that I can, so that I feel more comfortable when I actually start working with buyers and sellers”.  I was chatting with an acquaintance at a continuing education class for real estate.  Her theory was noble, but the truth is you learn the most when you put your knowledge into action.  You will never be able to know everything without doing it.  Sometimes, you just have to jump in.

I think this happens to us a lot.  We see an opportunity or feel that God is pushing us into a certain direction and we get scared.  Fear immobilizes us and we shake our heads at God and tell him we aren’t ready.  We tell him we are just going to sit back and study it for longer, until we are more prepared, and then maybe do something about it.  We say something like, I think that I might possibly do something about this in the next six months, maybe even next year.  Then we do nothing.

I feel like this is happening to me right now.  A new opportunity is in front of me and I’m scared.  I feel like I’m not the best person for the job and there has to be someone better for it.  At the same time, I know this is all on purpose and it is something I’m supposed to do.  I’m going to do it.  I’m going to push past the fear and jump forward.  I’m not excited about how I will have to navigate as I go along and this means I will make mistakes.  It means I will probably look stupid doing it at times, but that just is what it is.

I read Jeremiah chapter 1* this morning.  In verse five, God tells Jeremiah that before he was born, he was chosen to speak to the nations.  In chapter six Jeremiah responds, “I’m not a good speaker, LORD, and I’m too young.”

We do this, don’t we?  I’m giving God excuses about why I can’t do the opportunity in front of me.

The LORD responded to Jeremiah in chapter 7, “Don’t say you’re too young,” the LORD answered.  “If I tell you to go and speak to someone, then go!  And when I tell you what to say, don’t leave out a word!  I promise to be with you and keep you safe, so don’t be afraid.”

Sometimes we need to stop trying to figure everything out and just go.  We don’t need to question God’s decision making or our ability.  There are times when God has us wait and pray and wait and pray.  Verse 7 was not one of those times.  In verse 7, I imagine that God is talking to Jeremiah in a loving, but loud and stern voice, “When I TELL YOU TO GO, YOU GO!”  Parents know what this is like when their children do not understand the urgency of the situation.  How many times has this exact conversation happened in living rooms or kitchens between a parent and a child?

It might be time to stop with our excuses and just listen to GOD.  Is he telling you to get up and go?  Then you might want to get up off the couch and get started.

*Passage used was Jeremiah 1:4-8, Contemporary English Version

Living it up in Gonzales (Come and Take it!!)

“Yeah boss, I can come in Saturday instead of Sunday”, Oilman said during his phone conversation.

My heart sunk.  I thought we had one more day together before Oilman began his 20 day hitch.  That had changed in a 2015-03-15 17.57.37-1heartbeat.   The current job climate in the oilfield is one where if you are asked to come in a day early, you do it.  If you don’t, someone else will.  If you don’t, then maybe that puts you on the next round of job layoffs.  As Oilman hung up the phone, I started crying.  He needed to go in, but it didn’t mean that I liked it.  He looked at me, wiped my tears, held my hand, and said, “how about you stop crying and just come visit me in the trailer instead.”

So I did.

Sometimes people wonder why I don’t come live with my husband wherever he is working.  We’ve thought about it, but it didn’t seem like the best fit.  I have an established real estate business with a 10 year client list at home.  We also live in the same town we are both from.  Between our family and friends, we have a huge s2015-03-15 17.19.01-1upport system.  When Oilman is on a hitch, working is all he does.  A 12 hour shift, safety meeting, and a 30 minute to 1 hour commute one-way doesn’t leave a lot of quality time in the day.  Plus, he works nights half the time and days the other half.

It worked perfectly to come down and stay.  I have my computer to work remotely and no client appointments.  Oilman is working daylights (no night shift).  Normally daylights have a way of being longer than a 12 hour shift, but not this time.  I’m spending about 5 days here in the booming metropolis that is Gonzales, TX and enjoying the rarity that is quality time while Oilman is working.  It is a win-win.  Gonzales has its own special place in Texas history.  You can read about it here, if you are curious.

2015-03-15 17.18.56

It has been nice to get away from it all.  I haven’t had a TV on.  I spend time outdoors walking or playing fetch with the dogs.  I’m going to start a book this afternoon after I get my work done.  It is nice just living simply for a few days.

AND I’m avoiding the nation of hipsters that have settled over Austin, TX for SXSW.

2015-03-14 19.18.32

The Power at Our Fingertips

We have the power to change the world.

I remember watching the Ice Bucket Challenge as it moved throughout our communities.  As I watched the money and videos roll on by, I realized that we have an amazing opportunity to CHANGE THE WORLD.

I’ve been blessed to share my thoughts and experiences with this site and the Real Oilfield Wives.  Through the real oilfield wives, I have been exposed to additional readership.  Yesterday, I posted my most popular blog thus far.  “…but she is fat”. As of this morning, it has had over 12,000 views and almost 2,000 shares on Facebook.  I realize that in the viral age of the internet, Kim Kardashians butt crack gets more views than that in 15 seconds.  Obviously, I’m not as exciting as a butt crack, but I still find it mind boggling that thousands of people would be reading my words.  I feel a little vulnerable to be honest

We now live in a world where someone like me has the opportunity to write something based on my opinion and share it. I do not have a journalism degree.  People other than my loved ones have no need to listen to what I have to say.  Why would they?  The fact that I am no one deemed important by society doesn’t mean that my voice can’t be heard.  The boundaries that our parents and grandparents had have been eliminated.  The newspapers and governments are not the gate keepers of information, we are.  Are we using it wisely?  Do we fully realize the opportunities that lay at our fingertips?  Opportunities to help and inspire, but also deeply hurt.

Let’s take the opportunities in front of us and go do something truly awe inspiring.

You can laugh or you can cry.

I’m not going to lie, it has been a long month.  Oilman has been gone for 28 days straight.  There was some shuffling around of his schedule and so instead of working for 20 days, he worked for 28.  To make things better, it was all on nights.  Night shifts mean an exhausted Oilman and less time for us to talk during the day.

I was going to write about how difficult and icky this hitch had been, but it just didn’t feel right.  I decided to have a sense of humor about these things instead.  I blame this post on spending a lot of time by myself and  reading Tina Fey’s “Bossypants” this week.

A question that oilfield wives get a lot is, “what on earth do you do when your husband is away?”

I give you this, “The Secret Lives of Oilfield Wives“.  A look at what I really do when my man is gone for several weeks each month.

You will be judged or ignored.

“You will be judged (or you will be ignored)

Those are pretty much the only two choices.

Being judged is uncomfortable.  Snap judgments, prejudices, misinformation… all of these, combined with not enough time (how could there be) to truly know you, means that you will inevitably be misjudged, underestimated (or overestimated) and unfairly rejected.

The alternative, of course, is much safer.  To be ignored.

Up to you.”

-Seth Godin

I love this and yet hate it at the same time.  Often times, I feel stuck between two places.  Place A is to be average.  To not rock the boat.  To keep my opinion and experiences to myself.  To keep up the facade of perfection and normalcy.  The other place (option B) is to be brave.  To swim against the current.  To stand up for what I believe in.  To live life differently.  To be honest about our experiences.  To be transparent to others.

It can be uncomfortable, but so is staying put and not chasing after your dreams.

I can be judged, or I can be ignored.  Those are my two choices.